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  • Pirate visits bar

    A pirate was talking to a “land-luvver” in a bar. The land-luvver noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of his hands and a patch over one eye. The land-luvver just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape. He […] More

  • Does God Exist?

    A Christian and an atheist were neighbors. The Christian one day yells, “Lord please sends me food”. The atheist heard this and replies, “There is no GOD!” The next day the Christian wakes up and goes to her porch to find that there were bags of groceries. She yells, “Thank You LORD for this food!” […] More

  • Fastest Turtle

    A guy comes walking into a bar with a little turtle in his hand. The turtle’s one eye is black and blue, two of his legs are bandaged and his whole shell is taped together with duct tape. The guy notices a dog laying down on the other side of the bar. The bartender asks […] More

  • Christmas Eve

    Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering, they are told that they must present something with a flavor in order to get in. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some pine needles from the family’s Christmas […] More

  • Threat or promise

    A woman walks up to an obnoxious drunk at a bar and tells him, “If you were my husband, I’d poison your drink.” The man replies, “If you were my wife, I’d drink it.” More

  • Benefits of Green Tea

    A young woman arrived to her doctor with black and blue signs of beating. Doctor, “What happened?” Woman, “Doctor, I do not know what to do, whenever my husband comes home drunk he beats the hell out of me, almost killing me.” Doctor, “I have a really good medication for it. When your husband comes […] More

  • Mental Hospital

    A mental hospital was critically overcrowded. The doctor decides to get all the patients seated in one large room to conduct a test to see how many they discharge that day. At the front of the room, the Doctors took some chalk and drew a full-size door on a Blackboard and offered ice cream to […] More

  • An Honest Mistake!

    A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: “What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?” the minister asked. “Try to fix it if it’s big; ignore it if it’s insignificant,” replied the lawyer. “What do you do?” The minister replied, “Oh, more or less the same. Let me give […] More

  • Flight Test For Santa

    Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA). It was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived. In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order. The examiner walked […] More

  • Santa Claus

    A beautiful young girl wants to meet Santa Claus so she puts on a robe and stays up late on Christmas Eve. Santa arrives, climbs down the chimney, and begins filling the socks. He is about to leave when the girl says in a sexy voice, “Oh Santa, please stay.” Santa replies, “HO HO HO! […] More

  • Facebook Love

    My ex and I had a very amicable divorce. I know this because when I wrote the Facebook status “I’m getting a divorce,” he was the first one to click Like. More

  • Smart sheriff

    A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff. He thinks he’s smarter being a big shot lawyer from New York and has a better education than an sheriff from West Virginia. The sheriff asks for license and registration. The lawyer asks, “What for?” The sheriff responds, “You didn’t come to […] More

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