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Attitude

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As they were undressing for bed, the husband — who was a big burly man — tossed his trousers to his bride and said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I cant wear your ... Read More »

Golden wedding anniversary

A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. “Well, it dates back to our honeymoon,” explained the husband. “We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom of the ... Read More »

Rules

A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules. “I’ll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want,” he insisted. “And, I don’t expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal to be on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I’ll go hunting, ... Read More »

What to get the wife with everything!

Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, and he said, “I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday. She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.” His buddy said, “I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says she can ... Read More »

I AM

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 o’clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, groggy and bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, “Holy crap! That must be my husband!” So the man jumped out of the bed scared and naked and jumped out ... Read More »

Do you see?

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It’s been flickering for weeks now.” He looks at her and says angrily, “Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I don’t think so.” “Well then, could you ... Read More »

Scaring the kids

A guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. ‘What’s up?’ he says. ‘I’m having a heart attack,’ cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialling. his four-year-old son comes up and says, ... Read More »

Life..

In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen. Read More »

Is honesty the best policy?

After two years of marriage, Tom was still questioning his wife about her lurid past. “C’mon, tell me,” Tom asked for the thousandth time, “how many men have you been with?” “Baby, ” she protested, “If I told you, you’d throw a fit.” Tom promised he wouldn’t get angry, and convinced his wife to tell him. “Okay,” she said, then ... Read More »

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