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Bowling again!

A man tells his wife that he’s going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it’s closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next ... Read More »

Clearly cheating

A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.” Read More »

Where Have You Been???

A convicted felon was given ten years without parole for his latest crime. After 2 years in jail, he managed to escape. His escape was the lead item on the six o’clock news. Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking little travelled routes, running across deserted fields and taking every precaution he could think of. ... Read More »

Key to a Happy Marriage

For those of us “of a certain age” and for you youngsters, well, these days will come soon enough! Several days ago as I left a meeting I desperately gave myself a personal search. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realised I must ... Read More »

Tickets to the theater

A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After two weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family. Since this was a new home, the process took some time. A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible ... Read More »

The Proposal!

He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, they had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at ... Read More »

How was your game, dear?

“How was your game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy. “Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the ball went,” he answered. “But you’re 75 years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?” “But he’s 85 and doesn’t play golf anymore,” protested Jack. “But he’s got ... Read More »

Marry Me Again

One evening a man was very impressed with the meat entree his wife had served. “What did you marinate this in?” he asked. His wife immediately went into a long explanation about how much she loves him and how life wouldn’t be the same without him, etc. Eventually, his puzzled expression made her interrupt her answer with a question of ... Read More »

The loving wife…

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.” “Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him ... Read More »

Dangerous food

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking ... Read More »

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