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Is honesty the best policy?

After two years of marriage, Tom was still questioning his wife about her lurid past. “C’mon, tell me,” Tom asked for the thousandth time, “how many men have you been with?” “Baby, ” she protested, “If I told you, you’d throw a fit.” Tom promised he wouldn’t get angry, and convinced his wife to tell him. “Okay,” she said, then ... Read More »

Penny scale

A husband stepped on one of those penny scales that tell you your fortune and weight and dropped in a coin. “Listen to this,” he said to his wife, showing her a small, white card. “It says I’m energetic, bright, resourceful and a great lover.” “Yeah,” his wife nodded, “and it has your weight wrong, too!” Read More »

Chocolate Chip Cookies

An old man was lying on his deathbed. With only hours to live, he suddenly smelt chocolate chip cookies wafting up from the kitchen. Driven on by his favorite smell, he somehow managed to pull himself out of bed, across the floor to the stairs, and slowly down the stairs to the kitchen. There, the old man’s wife was baking ... Read More »

Bowling again!

A man tells his wife that he’s going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it’s closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next ... Read More »

Clearly cheating

A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.” Read More »

Where Have You Been???

A convicted felon was given ten years without parole for his latest crime. After 2 years in jail, he managed to escape. His escape was the lead item on the six o’clock news. Because he had to be careful, he worked his way home taking little travelled routes, running across deserted fields and taking every precaution he could think of. ... Read More »

Key to a Happy Marriage

For those of us “of a certain age” and for you youngsters, well, these days will come soon enough! Several days ago as I left a meeting I desperately gave myself a personal search. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realised I must ... Read More »

Tickets to the theater

A young couple got married and went away on their honeymoon. After two weeks they came back and finally put away all of the presents they received from friends and family. Since this was a new home, the process took some time. A week later, they received in the mail two tickets for a popular show where tickets were impossible ... Read More »

The Proposal!

He was a widower and she a widow. They had known each other for a number of years being high school classmates and having attended class reunions in the past without fail. This 60th anniversary of their class, they had a wonderful evening, their spirits high. The widower throwing admiring glances across the table. The widow smiling coyly back at ... Read More »

How was your game, dear?

“How was your game, dear?” asked Jack’s wife Tracy. “Well, I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight’s gotten so bad I couldn’t see where the ball went,” he answered. “But you’re 75 years old, Jack!” admonished his wife, “Why don’t you take my brother Scott along?” “But he’s 85 and doesn’t play golf anymore,” protested Jack. “But he’s got ... Read More »

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