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Code word

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing adultery. One Sunday, from the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!” Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone had committed adultery would say they had “fallen.” This seemed ... Read More »

Unheavenly blessed

Three nuns were talking. The first nun said, “I was cleaning the Father’s room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!” “What did you do?” the other nuns asked. “Well, of course I threw them in the trash.” The second nun said, ” Well, I can top that, I was in Father’s ... Read More »

The Car Wash

A church choir was putting on a car wash to raise money for a special trip to Bethlehem. They made a large sign that read: CAR WASH FOR CHOIR TRIP. On the scheduled Saturday, business was very good. But, by two o’clock the sky clouded, the rain poured, and there were hardly any customers.Finally, one of the soprano singers had ... Read More »

Undercover Clergy

A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their “freedom.” As ... Read More »

Tips from the holy man

A group of boys were going to confession one sunday. The first boy, John, says: Father, I’ve done something terrible. What have you done, John? I fu**ed a girl. Who was it? I can’t tell you, father, she would never permit it. Well, John, was it Mary M? No, father, I can’t tell you. Was it Heather S, John? No ... Read More »

Fear of Flying

There was a religious woman who had to do a lot of traveling for her business. Flying made her very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her. One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and smirk and went back to what he ... Read More »

Benefits of Being an Atheist

A very religious man lived right next door to an atheist. The religious man prayed every single day and night, spending much time at church, while the atheist never even thought of such acts. However, the atheist had a good life. An excellent, well-payed job, and a beautiful wife, lovely, healthy, children, whereas the religious man’s job was stressful and ... Read More »

Job Interview

A guy was getting ready to apply to a local department store for a job. A friend told him that it was the policy of the store to hire nobody but Catholic Christians, and that if he wanted a job there, he would have to lie about being a Catholic Christian. He applied for the job and the personnel man ... Read More »

Nine In A Room

In Budapest, a man goes to the priest and complains, “Life is unbearable. There are nine of us living in one room. What can I do?” The priest answers, “Take your goat into the room with you.” The man in incredulous, but the priest insists. “Do as I say and come back in a week.” A week later the man ... Read More »

Sharing the Loot!

Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbour and decided to go to a calm place to share the lot equally. One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping the big gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn’t bother to pick them since they ... Read More »

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