Family Jokes | Hot Jokes

My Mother Had Three Kids

A man went to New York on a business trip. When the trip was over, he took a cab to get to the airport. The cab driver decided to have a little fun at the man’s expense, so he asked, “My mother had three kids, one was my brother, one was my sister, who was […] More

Nice flowers!

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife’s birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, “Your loving husband.” His wife was […] More

Ready for school

One mother arrived at school each morning with her seven children in tow, all a bit rumpled but never the less on time. Scarcely able to get her one child ready for school on time, another mother asked her how she managed her brood so efficiently. “Easy,” she replied with a smile. “I dress them […] More

I have news

A woman goes away on vacation and has her brother watch her cat. On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going he tells her that the cat is dead. The woman immediately goes into hysterics, really upset and says, “You can’t tell a person bad news like that. […] More

Army Girl

“Daddy,” said my 10-year-old daughter, “I think I want to join the Army.” “Baby,” I answered, “I think the Air Force would be a better option for you.” “But I don’t want to be a pilot.” “You don’t have to be a pilot,” I told her. “There are other jobs in the Air Force.” Her […] More

Father and son

A father and his son, Bobby, arrive at the game, and Dad can’t find the tickets. Dad: “Nip home and see if I left the tickets there.” Bobby: “No probs, Dad.” Half an hour later Bobby returns to his dad who is patiently waiting outside the stadium. Bobby: “Yep, they’re on the kitchen table where […] More

Glass of Water

With his wife out for the evening, a father was trying to watch TV, but his young son kept coming in and asking for a glass of water. After the seventh glass, the father lost his temper and yelled, “Go to sleep, I’m watching TV.” “But Dad,” he protested, “my room is still on fire!” More

How much?

When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought regular or premium gas, but she couldn’t remember. “You probably got the cheaper gas,” he said. “That could account for the engine running so rough.” “No, the gas wasn’t cheaper!” she replied indignantly. “Well, how much did it […] More

Happy Dad

A mother and father read a bedtime story of a king to their five-year-old son. As the story concludes, the son says, “Mom, I also want five wives. One will cook, one will sing, one will bathe me…” Mom: “And one will put you to sleep!” Son: “No mom, I will still sleep with you.” […] More

Hi, Daddy!

A housewife with three young children was getting dinner ready when the phone rang. The six-year-old picked it up and said, “Hi, Daddy!” and she began telling him about her day. She then passed the phone to her brother and sister as was the custom whenever Daddy called from work. When it was finally the […] More

My husband hair is..

There are 3 wives who want to decide what to wear to a party. The first one says, “My husband has black hair, I will wear black dress.” The second says, “My husband hair is grey, and I will wear a grey dress.” The third one gets worried and starts panicking. When asked she says, […] More

Father present

Two friends, an Italian boy and a Jewish boy, come of age at the same time. The Italian boy’s father presents him with a brand-new pistol. On the other side of town, at his Bar Mitzvah, the Jewish boy receives a beautiful gold watch. The next day in school, the two boys are showing each […] More

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