Joke of the day | Hot Jokes

Family Finances

A couple was having a discussion about family finances. Finally the husband exploded, “If it weren’t for my money, the house wouldn’t be here!” The wife replied, “My dear, if it weren’t for your money I wouldn’t be here.” More

Teacher said

In class, the teacher said, “I shall write a sentence on the blackboard. Find the error.” She wrote, “I did not have very happy holidays.” “What is the mistake Henry?” Henry thought. “Perhaps you needed a boyfriend.” More

Complimentary!

A guy goes into the bar and sits down and orders a drink. Other than the bartender, there’s no one else in the place. All of a sudden he hears a voice say, ‘Nice suit.’ He looks around and doesn’t see anyone and the bartender looks busy washing some glasses. A little while later the […] More

Small Town Policeman

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. “But officer,” the man began, “I can explain.” “Quiet!” snapped the officer. “I’m going to let you spend the night in jail until the chief gets back.” “But, officer, I just wanted to say,” “And I said be quiet! […] More

Plastic or Rubber?

A well dressed lawyer went into a bar for a martini and found himself beside a scrungy-looking drunk who kept mumbling and studying something in his hand. The attorney leaned closer while the drunk held the tiny object up to the light, slurring, “Well, it looks like plastic.” Then he rolled it between his fingers […] More

A Blonde’s dream

A blonde keeps having the same weird dream, so she goes to her doctor. Doctor, “What is your dream about?” Blonde, “I am being chased by a vampire…” Doctor, “So, where are you in this dream?” Blonde, “I am running in a hallway.” Doctor, “Then what happens?” Blonde, “Well, that’s the weird thing. In every […] More

Great Writer!

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define “great” he said, “I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl […] More

Very cold

On another occasion the car broke down on a very cold winter’s day. “I’ll soon have it mended,” said the man and he jumped out of the car and tinkered about underneath the bonnet. Five minutes later he got back in the car and put his hands between her legs. “It’s so cold out there, […] More

The Mail

There was this guy that lived acrossed from a blonde. He was outside mowing,and here comes the blonde. She goes to her mailbox, opens it, looks inside it, and slams it. In about ten minutes, here she comes again, opens her mailbox, looks in it and slams it shut looking upset. In about 15 more […] More

Good luck

Two astronauts successfully landed on the moon and transmitted their thoughts and feelings back to mission control. They described the moon’s surface, the temperature, the atmosphere and their own feelings of elation at being there. Just as transmission was going off, one of the astronauts was heard to say, “Good luck Mr Collins”. When the men eventually returned to earth […] More

Neighbours

A man looks over his garden wall to see his neighbour digging a hole in the back garden. “What are you up to?” he asks. “I’m digging a hole for my dead hamster,” he replies. “Sorry to hear that, but it’s a big hole for a hamster isn’t it?” “Of course it is, it’s inside […] More

Don’t be silly..

A little boy ran into his mother’s room crying hysterically. “I don’t want my willy any more,” he sobbed, “it’s bad to have one.” “Don’t be silly, darling,” she replied. “Of course it’s not bad, why do you say that?” “Because I’ve just seen daddy in the bathroom and he’s trying to pull his off.” More

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