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  • Burglary Witness

    An old man was a witness in a burglary case. The defense lawyer asked Sam, “Did you see my client commit this burglary?” “Yes,” said Sam, “I saw him plainly take the goods.” The lawyer asks Sam again, “Sam, this happened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?” “Yes, says […] More

  • I Lost My Car Keys

    Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel; I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing. Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed […] More

  • Once a Cowboy

    An old cowboy went to a bar and ordered a drink. As he sat there sipping his whisky, a young lady sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked him, ‘Are you a real cowboy?’ He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life on the ranch, herding cows, breaking horses, mending […] More

  • Sympathetic Visitor

    A big, burly man visited the pastor’s home and asked to see the minister’s wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses. “Madam,” he said in a broken voice, “I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too […] More

  • Son of a Bitch

    A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, “Two plus six, that son of a bitch is eight. Three plus four, that son of a bitch is seven….” His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, “What are you doing?” The little boy answered, “I’m doing my math homework, Mom.” […] More

  • Thanksgiving turkey

    One Thanksgiving, a friend and I were walking down a main street in Albany when a man comes up to me and gives me a turkey and says, “Happy Thanksgiving!” Without hesitation my friend knocks him out. I asked my friend why he punched the nice man. My friend said, “He gave you the bird!” More

  • Designated decoy

    One night a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible DUI violations. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. The man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his […] More

  • Working…

    A fellow stopped at a rural gas station and, after filling his tank, he paid the bill and bought a soft drink. He stood by his car to drink his cola and he watched a couple of men working along the roadside. One man would dig a hole two or three feet deep and then […] More

  • Cookies

    An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death’s agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort […] More

  • Always talk to you this way?

    A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, “I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.” The driver says, “Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar needs calibrating.” Not looking up from her knitting the wife says sweetly from the passenger seat, “Now don’t be […] More

  • Ribbon

    There was a woman who had a dog that snored. She called her vet to find out if there was anything that would stop the snoring. The vet suggested that she tie a ribbon around the dog’s testicles. So, she went to her sewing basket, found a length of ribbon and tied it around the […] More

  • Looks good…

    There is this guy named Leon. One day Leon decided to go for walk. He runs into his old neighbor Joe. “Hey Leon yous looking good” Joe says. “I feels good” said Leon “But Leon you smells bad” said Joe Well Leon kept on going, he then ran into his preacher. “Hey Leon yous looking […] More

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