Children Jokes

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  • Effects of alcohol

    A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died. “Now,” he said,” what do […] More

  • Raising Money

    Humpty: I want to paint my bicycle but I don’t have money to buy the paint! Dumpty: Once when I needed money I sold my watch. Why don’t you sell your watch and get the money? Humpty: No, not my watch! It belonged to my grandfather. But you have given me an idea. The Next […] More

  • Zero in Math

    Dad was angry when he saw that his son scored a zero in math. “Son, can you explain this to me?” “Well dad, the teacher didn’t have any stars left to give me, so she gave me a moon!” More

  • Little Johnny… fascinate

    A teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word “fascinate” in it. A little girl says, “Walt Disney World is fascinating.” The teacher says, “No, I said, ‘fascinate.’” Another little girl says, “There’s so much fascination when it comes to sea life.” The teacher again says, “No, the word is fascinate.” […] More

  • Tell Me Stories

    Tom to his mom: “Mom, please tell me a story?” Mom: “Sorry, honey, I don’t have any new stories to tell. But you should ask your dad why he was late coming home today. He will then tell you some amazing stories.” More

  • Kiss

    One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, “Do you know what it is?” “No, I don’t,” said the little boy “Okay, I’ll give you a clue. It’s the thing […] More

  • One summer evening..

    One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled. “I can’t dear,” she said. ‘I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.” […] More

  • Grandpa, can you…?

    A little girl said, “Grandpa, can I sit on your lap? “Why sure you can,” her grandfather replied. As she sat on her grandfather’s lap she said, “Grandpa, can you make a sound like a frog?” “A sound like a frog? Well, sure Grandpa can make a sound like a frog.” The girl said, “Grandpa, […] More

  • Being Possible

    The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room. “A football player.” “A doctor.” “An astronaut.” “The president.” “A fireman.” “A teacher.” “A race car driver.” Everyone that is, except Little Johnny. The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet […] More

  • Pushing The Wrong Way…

    Two boys were struggling with a huge table in a doorway. They pushed and pulled and upped it and downed it until both were exhausted. Between gasps for air, one managed to say, “We better give up… because we’ll never get this table into the house.” “Into the house?” screamed the other. “I thought we […] More

  • How did school go today?

    “How did school go today? a mother asked her little boy. “Fine”, the little fellow replied. “We had a new teacher and she wanted to know if I had any brothers and I told her I was an only child”. What did she say?” his mother asked. “ The teacher said, “Thank goodness” More

  • WHAT??!!

    A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: Da-ad…” “What?” I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?” No. You had your chance. Lights out.” Five minutes later: “Da-aaaad…” WHAT?” I’m THIRSTY…Can I have a drink of water??” I told you NO! If you ask again I’ll have […] More

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